LAWYER / INSURANCE STORY

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This took place in Charlotte North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires..' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and WON!

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

--

Bottle of Wine

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Bottle of Wine
(Women will LOVE this one!)

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. She hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don't mess with them.


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The Audiences

The lovely children:





The overall.















The general.












--

Teaching Us Indian Dance

Warning from the British Ministry of health about Energy Saving bulbs

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Warning from the British Ministry of health about Energy Saving bulbs


These type of bulbs which are called Energy Saving or low Energy bulbs, if it is broken it causes serious danger! As much that everybody will have to leave the room for at least 15 minutes.

Because it contains Mercury (poisonous) which cause migraine, disorientation, imbalances and different other health problems when inhaled.

And many people with allergies, causes them severe skin condition and other diseases just by touching this substance or inhaling it.

Also the ministry warned by NOT cleaning the debris of the broken bulb with the vacuum cleaner, because it would spread the contamination to other rooms in the house while using the vacuum cleaner again.

It must be cleaned through normal broom or brush and be kept in a sealed bag and thrown right away from the house in the bin for hazardous materials.

Notice: Mercury is dangerous, more poisonous than lead or arsenic!!!!


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AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED

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AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED , have a nice day.

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

***************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....

***************************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....

**************************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started.....

*************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'
And that's how the fight got started..... .

*************************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight got started.....

************************************************************

Can you tell me what those white circles are all about?

This is not the moon...

Which sunset do you like better?

The spirits ?

The white circles on the photos, I called them "spirits". Apparently it happens with digital camera, what do I know?





The audience.














The dancing crowd.

Having a good time?










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Activities

Lectures that we attended:



Postures that we learned:














Entertainment that we enjoyed.













Performers that we met.

--

Sound of Music | Central Station Antwerp (Belgium)

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More than 200 dancers were performing their version of "Do Re Mi", in the Central Station of Antwerp. with just 2 rehearsals they created this amazing stunt! Those 4 fantastic minutes started the 23 of march 2009, 08:00 AM. It is a promotion stunt for a Belgian television program, where they are looking for someone to play the leading role, in the musical of "The Sound of Music".

Enjoy:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k&NR=1&feature=fvwp
--

Saying Goodbye

You wrote:

the most painful thing in this world...is to say Goodbye...even though

intellectually we understand nothing lasts forever,

but the Heart has the instinctual tendency to CLING/HOLD ON to people/things we
considered dear and important....

our sons, daughters, spouse, etc...

and of course, this hand, this pair of eyes, this sense-impression, the memories....

Say goodbye...let me let go....



I say:

You can perceive departing as an end...

Or you can perceive departing as a new beginning...

Good that nothing last forever, otherwise there is no hope for the better...

Let go of the let go, there is nothing to let go either...

--

Speed controls being used in Eastern Canada ...

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How's this for excellent speed control?

I don't know about you, but this would slow me down! People slow down and try to "straddle" the hole .....




This is actually a speed control device that is in use. It is much cheaper than speed cameras.




Pretty clever - especially when moved around each day. Isn't art wonderful?

--

Happy Mother's Day

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Happy Mother's Day

WHY GODl MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:


Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house..
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.


What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.


Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them..
2. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
3. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.


If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING -- SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AND AUNTS....and anyone else who has anything to do with kids or just needs a good laugh!!!
You think you're too small to make a difference? Then you've obviously never slept in the same room as a mosquito.

--

Happy Mother’s Day

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Happy Mother’s Day

A dedication to All Moms:


MOTHERS

Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mummy to Mum to Mother.....

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mummy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't know everything!
14 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother? She wouldn't have a clue!
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's so five minutes ago.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mum's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mum would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mum.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

*********************

Please send this to 5 Mums today.
If you don't, nothing bad will happen, but if you do, something good will: You'll boost a Mother's spirits.

--

Three different endings

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The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged Friend :

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall
stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.


The Mistress :

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a Raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.


Then I had to share my Story :

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

When he came in the door and saw me he said,

"What's for Dinner, Batman?"

--

The Holy River Narmada ...

All negative karma is supposed to be washing away by taking a bath in River Narmada, especially in the Holy Month too...

The retreat

The classroom:




The dinning room.














The hallway in the residence.

DDMBA-One Day Chan Meditation Retreat Saturdayday, May 8, 2010

One Day Chan Meditation Retreat
Saturday, May 8th, 2010, 9:30am to 4:30pm
Location: DDMBA Ontario, 154 Poyntz Avenue, Toronto M2N 1J4

Come back for the monthly one day Chan meditation retreat on May 8th. This form of practice is very beneficial for everyone; it gives us the chance to practice with a group over a longer period of time, however some familiarity with meditation methods might be helpful.

Sitting meditation periods are followed by walking meditation, gentle stretching exercises and mindful work periods. The environment of the retreat is designed to promote mindfulness in everything we do.

For the full benefits of this form of group practice, we encourage you attend the entire event. Also, be sure to wear loose, warm and comfortable clothing. DDM provides cushions, sitting mats, towels and light vegetarian lunch.

Kindly RSVP meditation.dharmadrum@gmail.com by Thursday should you plan to attend for meal preparation. The event is offered free of charge while any donations to support events like this are greatly appreciated.

With Palms Joined,
DDMBA Ontario
www.ddmba-ontario.ca

--

POLITICALLY CORRECT

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[THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY All PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT - it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!]

One day a Member of Parliament is hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, we'll have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity'.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians.

Everyone is in evening dress and very happy. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity'.

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell. '

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? '

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'

1944 America' Got Talent

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This is a video of an act from 1944 - a sister act called the Ross Sisters.

I had never heard of them. The song they sing is about 45 seconds long (nothing special) but what they do next is...!

I don't think I have ever seen a human being do some of the stunts they did! (Watch past the first 60 seconds or so, then Whoa! Look Out!)


Click your mouse here:


1944 America' Got Talent


The Ross Sisters were a trio of female sibling singing dancers consisting of Aggie Ross, Elmira Ross, and Maggie Ross (whose real names were Veda Victoria, Dixie Jewel and Betsy Ann Ross). The Ross Sisters performed as a 3-part harmony trio wherein they also danced and did acrobatics and contortionism.

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UT: May 11: "Purification of mind through mindfulness" with Ven. Uda Iriyagama Dhammajeeva Thero

In case you are interested:


New College of the University of Toronto and the Toronto Mahavihara present

A lecture on "Purification of mind through mindfulness"
By Ven. Uda Iriyagama Dhammajeeva Thero

Date: Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Time: 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm
Place: William Doo Auditorium, New College, 45 Willcocks Street

Ven. Uda Iriyagama Dhammajiva Thero, a student of Ven. Sayadaw U Pandita of Burma, is the current head of the Nissarana Hermitage, a monastery in the strict forest tradition following strict standards of discipline. For information about Ven. Uda Iriyagama Dhammajiva Thero and Nissarana Vanaya, please visit:http://nissaranavanaya.blogspot.com/2008/03/ven-uda-iriyagama-dhammajiva-swamin.html

For more information about the talk, please call 416-993-1940

Admission Free / All Welcome


For more on Buddhist Studies at the University of Toronto, see http://buddhiststudies.chass.utoronto.ca/

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Start working for everyone...

The Solar Panels:





The Staff's Quarter...














The Yoga Lesson.












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